The creative person, who ventures into many situations which expose him to shock, is more often threatened by anxiety but, assuming the creativity is genuine, he’s more able to overcome these threats contractively.” – Rollo May, Meaning of Anxiety, 2nd Edition (2019), page 83. Drawing on prior experience, suppression has become my preferred method of coping with life’s variables. This could either be a product of my upbringing or simply part of my original disposition. Nonetheless, it has resulted in the accumulation of anxiety.
As I transition from fashion design to mixed media art, I have finally begun tracing my personal relationship with fiber as a material. What was once external image-making through the way I dress has developed into an internalized practice that speaks to the way I camouflage myself within an inherent and pre-existing anxiety. Consequentially, my artworks frequently exhibit a dense yet fluidic state. Often times they are bright and colorful; other times they appear dull and pallid. An anxious state of mind has many faces, be it hostile or fearful, yet it may also manifest as something conformal or compliant. With that said, my current art practice not only allows me to achieve mental equilibrium, but also acts as a consoler of emotions.
A considerable focus of my work from perhaps a short while ago was an exploration and observation of my feelings, which led me to see anxiety as a shared human nature as I gradually reach outwards. Therefore, at times I felt like didn’t know where I belong, or that I had developed an objective behavior to habitually suppress certain emotions. As we become mindful to different art forms such as still life, film, music — or even to life itself and its various happenings and encounters — if somehow, we are able to become empathetic to all these things, then we shall be relieved from anxiety.I’m beginning to sense, through my recent practice, certain “atmospheric” ebbs and flows in the environment, and that after having experienced a handful of incidents, I’ve come to a realization that human nature seems to be the operative factor behind many of these things. I wish my work can cultivate in its viewers, a form of self-dialogue, in which they may experience the multi-dimensionality of their lived experiences.